'Cause I can't, I won't, and I don't stop blogging (apoplecticfittz) wrote,
'Cause I can't, I won't, and I don't stop blogging
apoplecticfittz

...long after the thrill of bloggin' is gone

Hey friends list (Or, as jackie__kennedy genius-ly came up with; flist), I've started 2006 off correctly, no? All these journal entries just flowing forth like a proverbial flowing thing (for this entry we will go with "river."). Yes, I've taken the blogging by storm in '06. Catch the comedy wave. CATCH IT...*shakes fist*

Well, ladies and my bloggers in arms, it's time for me to turn on the ol' Tigorillougar Wall...


For the ultimate in animalistic idea protection: The Tigorillougar Wall*1


What is the Tigorillougar Wall? Take the pride and grace of the Tiger, the brute strength of the gorilla, and the swift justice of a cougar and put them all together into one unbeatable thought security animal barrier...only it is more figurative than literal. Much like the Tigorillougar spokesman, John Cougar Mellencamp (A man who combines melons with large cats and plenty of confusion.):



Think of this blog as an idea factory of immense talent. Or, if you like, you can think of it as a rich tapestry of genius. And what is there to protect it from the slippery injustice of the Internet? Nothing. Your Conan O'Briens. Your John Hodgmans, if you will. Heck, even your Christopher McCullochs have unfettered access to my brilliance without ever having to caress a single key or delicately place pen to paper. And the list of offenders is numberless in its immenseness. Hollywood and its East Coast cronies are free to mine my mind for their triumphs without a single reprieve, nor volley. This cannot stand any longer. I, as an enterprising youth, need something to protect my assets (More on this later...), those being namely my collections of thoughts located here.

SO, therefore, I am putting up the Tigorillougar Wall. This idea security firewall was invented by another victim of comedy plagiarism, LJ's roter_terror, though he used the Cougar Wall. The Tigorillougar Wall is the latest and greatest in blog idea protection and I recommend it for all of you who fear that their hard work will someday be read from the likes of Jay Leno with all credit given to his silkened graying mane of evil. It's a sad fate that we must take such drastic measures but drastic measures must be taken when threats have been extended to my ample library of amazing.

So, Conan, if you want something funny, you'll have to ask, okay? John your book is hilarious; you can thank me in checks made out to cash. Chris, just NAME THE CHARACTERS AFTER ME ALREADY...sheesh.*2

*ACTIVATE TIGORILLOUGAR WALL*


Footnotes for this entry:

  1. Props to otimus for designing the Tigorillougar Wall logo. He is always an ally against the tyranny of Jay Leno.

  2. Please note that I cannot confirm that these people named stole my ideas, however, can they prove that they did not? No.



Edit: The mp3 now works, listen to it as it is the only part of this entry that is funny.
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