I mean, it's so weird to me that A) it isn't considered nudity until there is nipple-age, and B) Dudes, much more offensive than ladies, mind you, can display their chesticles at will. So, if any one of you puritans can explain to me why a woman's breast isn't considered nude until her nipple is exposed or why that would be considered offensive to begin with, please do. I'm making it my duty to discover the truth from the lies of this fallacy
I find our culture to be strange. For example, I was perusing Amazon.com when I came across these:
Don't ask how I found them, Jokey McGee.... I am not an animal! At first I was like, "LOLZ AMAZON PORN!!" But then I was told that was something else completely and this isn't in fact porn at all. It's simply a woman's breast covered rudely by the fears and lies of hypocrisy.
I get the practical reasons for this contraption, if you are wearing a slinky dress, which I often am, you certainly wouldn't want your nips to be all up in everyone's grill, would you? Well...
The question becomes, if a man is walking around without a shirt, next to a woman without a shirt or anything covering her nipples and she is standing next to a woman without a shirt but she has on those things covering her nipples, would any of them be called indecent? We know the man wouldn't, though he should...if anyone should be appendage oppressed, it's a shirt-less dude.
But, that begs the question, would either of the women? The uncovered women, likely! But what about lady with the covered nipples!? Amazon tells me she wouldn't be! I must know!
This is what I propose:
We all vote, once and for all, either we can all walk around topless at our leisure or we all have to button up in public and embrace our repressed ancestral rule...
That, or we make star nipples the new fashion craze! Oh just think of the fun, heart nipple covers on Valentine's Day. Nipple covers that looks like scars on Halloween. Maybe we'd have a special turkey nipple the pops up on Thanksgiving. A little baby Jesus nipple covers on Christmas (or if you are Jewish, just use your yarmulke on your little dreidels!).
This is easily why I should be running things. I look for answers and I get results...