'Cause I can't, I won't, and I don't stop blogging (apoplecticfittz) wrote,
'Cause I can't, I won't, and I don't stop blogging
apoplecticfittz

Why am I not blogging?

So, I have a new job. It is a lot like my old job only I don't talk to people. I chat with 'em. Yes, for money.

It the fucking easiest thing I've ever done for money (not counting the time I was in the crack game. But we aren't counting that. It doesn't count.). This job also lets me use the Internet. (Though they frown on me installing software, which is why I haven't hopped on AIM yet.) (They do not frown on parenthesis, however.) Which should mean, in the near future, I will have almost unlimited time to blog.

Of course, it is hard to become motivated to be hilarious when you have these Dickshits all up in my chatting grillz:

And yes, that is my real chat name...I protect no one.

Sprint Agent>Fittz has joined the call.
Subject: Web Chat>This is a New Customer, with the subject: Purchase
New Phone/Service, in zipcode 60628

Sprint Agent>D L has joined the call.
Fittz>Thank you for choosing Sprint now together with Nextel web chat. My name is Fittz, how may I assist you with your Sprint.com order today?
D L>R u a male or female
Fittz>Gender is socially constructed and also, a male or female is an adjective used to describe mostly animals. It can be a noun, but it is not proper. (A little lexical humor never hurt anyone.)
D L>r u a woman
Fittz>I am not.
D L>r u a male
Fittz>I fail to see how this is relevant to the subject at hand,
and again, I am not an animal. But, I am a male human being.
D L>ook u must be a sexy man
Fittz>That can be judged by text now? Wonderful. Do you have a Sprint or Nextel related question?
D L>no sexy hot strong man
D L>whore
D L>slut
D L>bitch
Fittz>Lovely. Now, to ensure that we have a productive chat session, I ask that you please refrain from using profane/vulgar language during our chat. Thank you in advance. Also, if you could, try typing out your words. "r" easily becomes "are" with a little effort.
D L>fucker
Fittz> Well, we have just crossed into the realm of unproductive. I am sensing we are about to venture into the final frontier here. However, if you would like further assistance, please refrain from using profane/vulgar language. Or, at best, skip the clichéd ones, could you?
D L>fuck u bitch
D L>whore
D L>slut
Fittz>Well then, I apologize. I am sorry for the both of us that this ugly event has transpired. But, I have taken all the abuse that I am willing to deal with at the moment. I will need to disconnect. If you would like further assistance, Sprint web chat is available Monday-Friday, 9am until 11pm and Saturday-Sunday, 10am until 8pm. Thank you. I will miss you.
D L>motherfucker

Chat is disconnected.

Oh boy! He sure got me good.
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